Tag: neurodiversity

Autism and wellbeing

At the Autism Show in June 2021, we heard from speakers around the world about all matters relating to autism, from education to employment and from wellbeing to managing meltdowns. As high proportions of people with autism can be vulnerable to anxiety and depression, maintaining your wellbeing can be a challenge.

Peter Vermuelen, autism consultant and lecturer asked whether happiness is a mission for autistic people – or is it mission impossible? “You need to redefine this as becoming autistically happy,” advised Peter. “Avoid forcing a person with autism into neurotypical concepts of happiness.”

Obviously, autistic people are in fact human and have the same Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as anyone (although you should probably also add wifi and a full battery to the physiological needs). Autistic people have a higher risk for mental health issues – anxiety, depression and trauma are almost co-morbid conditions. The lifetime prevalence for people with autism is 10-65% for anxiety (compared to 15-20% of neurotypical people) and 10-55% for depression (10-30% neurotypical). Autistic people also have a lower quality of life in general, with respect to living arrangements, work/education, social relationships and future perspectives, even when compared to other neurodiverse diagnosed people, such as those with ADHD. This quality of life deficit cuts across all IQ ranges – the ‘severity’ of autism makes no difference to mental health issues.

According to Deci and Ryan’s self-determination theory, we all want to be our own person, to have autonomy, competence and relatedness. For Peter, studies show that the happiest people are the most successful (not the other way round). Even in neurotypical people, negative feelings can cause an overfocus on detail and rigidity in thinking. Positive feelings increase cognitive functioning, flexibility and adaptability.

There are two aspects of happiness:

A pleasant life e.g. joy, pleasure, absence of pain, safety, activities you like (volatile elements)
A meaningful life e.g. purpose in life, personal growth, serving others, life satisfaction (more stable elements)

Peter believes that happiness is within reach of all autistic people but interventions should be autism friendly, individualised and involve the person themselves. Peter’s programme, the H.A.P.P.Y project involves increasing baseline happiness and also adding more of the hedonic, or transitory, pleasure. This includes:

Accepting and loving yourself
Good feeling toolbox, such as a box full of happy things to take to school or work
Flow activities, those where we lose track of time and are distracted from our unhappiness. Special interests are a great fit here!
Physical exercise, as exercise helps with emotional regulation
Problem focused coping strategies. If we make life too easy, this creates learned helplessness. We need to build resilience in small steps to face problems
Emotion focused coping strategies e.g. mindfulness, relaxation, visualisation in an autism friendly way
Positive thinking. If you explore the ‘what ifs’ ahead of time, this can take away the unpredictability of what you are worried about
Gratitude. Make other people happy by writing letters or paying compliments
Kindness. Using your autistic strengths to help other people aids connectedness
Personal projects. Goals give life meaning, so try learning something new (although don’t make happiness your goal)

Peter concluded with my favourite quote of the day: “You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf” (Jon Kabat-Zinn).

Sensory processing and autism

Your ability to interact with the world through your senses can have a huge impact on your physical and mental wellbeing. Lorraine Young, an autistic adult and Sensooli Community Manager, highlighted Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), which is common in the autism community. SPD can lead someone to be under or over sensitive to stimulus such as sounds, smells and textures, causing either sensory seeking or sensory avoidant behaviours.

I always thought we had 5 senses, but apparently there are 8: sight, sound, smell, touch, hearing and also vestibular (balance), proprioception (knowing where are bodies are) and interoception (not knowing if we are hungry, thirsty or need the loo).

Overall, around 1 in 20 people have sensory issues, while 1 in 6 may be significantly affected. Not all people with autism have SPD however, and vice versa. Helpful sensory hacks can use sensory seeking to counteract avoidance, for example using a favourite smell, such as hand cream to counteract a disliked smell. The Tudors clearly had a point with their handy pomanders.

Lorraine recommended using Sensooli to work out your own sensory profile. Sensooli provides sensory products and also support networks. “Sensooli is not a diagnostic tool, it is a discovery tool,” advised Lorraine.

Autism and disability in society

Thomas Henley, an autistic YouTuber and creater of the Thoughty Auti podcast, described how he can both love and hate being autistic. As only 22% of adults with autism are in work and 40% live with depression, social isolation can be a real problem.

Autistic people may experience challenges in society due to the ‘medical model of disability’, which assumes that people are disabled by their individual impairments or differences themselves. This model implies that the autistic brain should be treated to make it more neurotypical in order to achieve a better quality of life. Neurotypical life is the ideal in this model.

In contrast, the ‘social model of disability’ states that people are disabled by the interaction of their differences with external factors or society. In this model, social structures, attitudes and provisions should be adapted to fit the individual better. With improved support and integration, a high quality of life becomes possible without needing treatment. For Thomas, autism is a ‘differability’. “It has its upsides and downsides, just like being neurotypical,” he explained. “There is no ‘right’ way of being! Rather than treat autism, we should instead treat the conditions that co-occur with autism, such as mental health conditions.”

In mental health support there are very few specialists in autism and they tend to be available only privately at a high cost. There are not many targeted services available through the NHS and research into autism and mental health is also not well funded. “Nor is there much research into the upsides of autism!” pointed out Thomas. He remarked that there is an increasing media presence for autism and autistic characters, but many stereotypes still persist.

“Ironically, autistic actors are not playing autistic characters on TV because they often don’t fit the stereotypes!” said Thomas. Seeing truer representations of autism on screen would help to raise awareness and understanding, creating a society that is better able to adapt to the ‘differabilities’ of people with autism and (hopefully) improve their wellbeing.

Intercultural competencies with CamAWISE and Danielle Feger

In April, as our personal cultures in the UK started to expand again post lockdown, I joined CamAWISE and Danielle Feger, Research Development Consultant, for a workshop on Intercultural Competencies and Leadership.

What does culture mean?

Danielle initially asked us to define what the word ‘culture’ actually means. Everyone has a slightly different definition, but it often boils down to ‘the way we do things around here.’ It is important to remember that there is a distinction between a description of a culture and a stereotype. Stereotypes assume that every individual is the same within a culture, when in reality people who are part of a culture will share some, but not all, of the typical characteristics.

Cultures can be national, regional or corporate. Even within a business, there can been differences in culture between employees, who might be local and speak the same language, compared to leaders who may be more international.

“You do not see the world as it is, you see it as you are,” advised Danielle. “You might be tempted to think ‘they are doing it wrong’, unless you are aware of your own cultural standpoint.”

The cultural iceberg model – what lies beneath the surface

Edward T Hall described culture as an iceberg, where the visible elements that you might observe on holiday, such as age, behaviours, language, gender and clothes are easy to spot. When you live and work in another culture, you start to sink deeper into areas such as favourite foods, festivals and traditions. It takes much longer to find the invisible cultural aspects, such as assumptions, thought patterns and gender roles. These elements are internal, unconscious and difficult to change.

Low and high context countries – say what you mean and mean what you say (or not)

Another way to analyse culture is to consider low and high context countries. Low context countries feature direct, precise and logical communication styles. “You say what you mean and you mean what you say,” summarised Danielle. People focus their attention on what is said and words are chosen carefully. Germanic and Nordic Europe, UK, US, Australia and Canada are examples of low context countries. Often, they are relatively easy to enter as a visitor.

High context countries pay as much attention to what is not said, through clothes, body language and reading between the lines. People from high context countries speak indirectly using nuanced communication and avoid conflict. Arab countries, Southern Asia, Sub Saharan Africa, countries with a lot of shared history, tend to be high context and can be challenging to join.

When working in a multicultural environment, clashes can occur when you mix high and low context individuals. If you are high context, you might feel that you are being patronised by low context communication, because in your eyes it is constantly repeating things. If you are low context in a high context environment, you might feel that people are not being open with you or explaining things adequately. “If you are not sure which approach to take with a co worker, take the low context approach and explain that this what we are doing and why,” recommended Danielle.

In an appraisal situation in particular, there is a big risk of miscommunication. If you are high context and experience low context feedback, it can feel too direct and confrontational and you might feel discouraged. If you are low context and receive high context remarks, you do not hear clearly what you have done wrong and may not understand how and where to improve.

“Some cultures can come across as abrupt or harsh. Others may come across as not taking anything seriously,” commented Danielle.

For neurodiverse people, for example those with communication challenges often associated with autism, low context environments and approaches could be particularly helpful. It is also important to make the rules for interaction clear. It could well be possible for neurodiverse people to thrive in a high context culture, if it has a clear set of expectations for different situations.

Cultural intelligence – understanding and adapting

Cultural intelligence, as defined by Thomas and Inkson, is the ability to understand and adapt to other cultures. To develop cultural intelligence, you need knowledge about other cultures combined with mindfulness, so that you can pay close attention to cultural cues and reflect on them non judgementally. You also need to have the skills to deal with situations, enabling you to choose your behaviour and body language according to the circumstances.

Cultural intelligence can be split into three aspects: cognitive, physical and motivational or emotional. Those with cognitive cultural intelligence will have clear approaches and plans for interactions and can tell if something is going well or badly. To have physical cultural intelligence, you will be able to adapt your body language, expressions and speech style to suit those from another culture. People with emotional cultural intelligence will feel relaxed about dealing with people from different cultures and are confident they can adapt to situations that are unfamiliar.

Be aware that the people you meet may not be typical of their culture. For example, academics who are often high context in their research communities, and have lived and worked abroad for many years, may not be similar to the average person you meet on your holiday travels.

Cultural dimensions – six features of cultures

Geert Hofstede referred to six cultural dimensions, including power distance, indulgence vs restraint, long vs short term orientation, uncertainty avoidance, individualism vs collectivism and masculinity vs femininity. To explain these, Danielle summarised power distance and uncertainty avoidance.

Power distance refers to the relationship between those with high and low power in society, for example between leaders and their employees. In a low power distance environment, there are few formalities, mutual respect and consultation across the power spectrum is expected. With a high power distance comes a hierarchical approach with less need for consultation. Subordinates expect to be told what to do and can be disorientated if this is not made clear.

Uncertainty avoidance reflects how acceptable uncertainty is in the culture. Strong uncertainty avoidance leads to a multiplicity of laws, rigid codes, behaviours and beliefs, together with intolerance of unorthodox behaviour. Leaders are expected to have all the answers and employees resist changing jobs, even if they are unhappy at work. In a weak uncertainty avoidance culture, changing jobs is commonplace and people are more comfortable with ambiguity from leaders. They may have a dislike of rules, written or unwritten.

How to be culturally aware?

For Danielle, the key to being culturally aware is to practice cultural mindfulness. Develop an awareness of your own culture, essentially the lens that you are looking through. Build awareness and knowledge of other cultures and look ahead towards areas of potential conflict. Practice acceptance of cultures different to your own. Be aware of whether an incident may be a product of someone’s culture, rather than their own individual characteristics.

“We tend to blame the situation for our own shortcomings, for example if we are late, but blame the other person if it happens to them!” reminded Danielle.

Danielle recommends:

Increasing cultural and personal self-awareness by reflecting on your own experiences, past and present
Increasing awareness of others within their own cultural and personal context (is a characteristic cultural, or is it particular to them as an individual?)
Learning to manage your emotions and thoughts in the face of uncertainty, change and challenging circumstances
Learning to shift frames, attune emotions and adapt behaviours to other cultural contexts

“As a leader, being culturally aware does not mean taking on all aspects of the culture of everyone in your team. Just be aware of how your culture comes across,” said Danielle.

“We need to be in charge of ourselves in order to adapt to another culture. As a starting point, look for the areas that you have in common with people across all cultures, to build connections and work from there.”

Autism at Work Summit with the National Autistic Society

As Autism Awareness Week 2021 (30 March to 5 April) draws near, I joined the Autism and Work Summit, hosted by the National Autistic Society.

Autism is a lifelong developmental disability which affects how people communicate and interact with the world. One in 100 people are on the autism spectrum and there are around 700,000 autistic adults and children in the UK. Boys are ten times more likely to be referred for a diagnosis than girls. Girls with same symptoms are less likely to be diagnosed and often camouflage or mask their autistic traits from others.

According to the National Autistic Society, 16% of autistic people in the UK work full time, while 79% want to work. This is a huge gap between what autistic people desire and what is currently happening in the workplace. Diagnostic criteria for autism are based on a deficit model, so many worry that this may lead to discrimination if they disclose their diagnosis. Employers should offer clear paths for disclosure for autistic people and training for all employees to reduce stigma and discrimination.

Advantages and challenges of autism in the workplace

There are significant advantages in employing autistic people, including their attention to detail, punctuality, creativity and honesty to name just a few. Some autistic people say that they are good at keeping calm in a crisis and defusing anger, which is useful in customer facing roles for example.

For some autistic people, executive function can be challenging, which means being able to accept change, switch tasks rapidly and to complete tasks quickly at the expense of accuracy. Autistic employees speak about the ‘hidden curriculum’ of the workplace, the pressure to be social and make small talk, although this is not a problem for every autistic person. Some have experienced bullying from colleagues. Many report that it can feel like holding two jobs – one is the role itself, and the other is passing as neurotypical. This can be exhausting, both mentally and physically, sometimes leading to autistic burnout.

Experiences of autistic people in the workplace

Ian Iceton of Autistica, the UK’s national autism research charity, set the scene regarding the experiences of adults who disclose their autism in the workplace. According to Romualdez et al (2021), “Autism in Adulthood“, disclosure in the workplace is not a single step process. Around 35% of participants in Romualdez’s study told everyone they were autistic, 55% told only some people and 10% did not tell anyone.

Of those that did disclose, 24% did so during the application process, 6% during the interview itself and 46% after starting the job. Their experiences of disclosure were also mixed – 40% felt that they got a positive response while 20% received a negative one.

It is important to consider the reasons why someone might disclose, or not disclose, their autism. Many are hoping to experience better understanding from employers and colleagues, to gain reasonable adjustments or to improve their mental wellbeing through disclosing. Others might worry about the stigma and negativity that could be attached to assumptions about autism.

Line managers reported that there was a continuum of strengths and challenges for their autistic staff members, where both strengths and disability could exist in the same person. They reported that quite a wide range of adjustments might be needed by an individual and the bureaucracy of sourcing help can take up time. In some cases, they felt unsupported by HR and occupational health, who were not always knowledgeable about autism. Conversely, managing an autistic staff member was also highly rewarding.

On the whole, saying that “We are all a bit autistic,” downplays the very real differences between autistic and non autistic people and is generally unhelpful.

What makes for a successful workplace experience?

Ian Inceton’s own research with 60 participants, looked at recruitment and employment practices. He found 8 key areas that influenced the success of autistic people in the workplace.

Manager and recruiter characteristics and beliefs
• Attitudes, expectations and beliefs of recruiters and line managers
• Knowledge about ASD
Attributes of the autistic person
• Sensory challenges, mental health, gender (women camouflage to their disadvantage)
• Diagnosis and disclosure (timing of diagnosis and disclosure)
• Personal history e.g. previous recruitment and roles, educational influences, parental influences (parents and carers can be overprotective and discourage disclosure)
Organisational backdrop
• Working environment (culture, diversity, openness, freedom of manager to act, support for managers
• Organisational characteristics (training, staff networks, resources and budget)
Nature of the work
• Assumptions of what autistic people are good at e.g. deep focus, IT, STEM and data, pattern recognition.
• This stereotype works in the favour of those who are strong in these areas, but can disadvantage those who are creative, communications, arts etc.
Third party support
• It is very important to source external support during recruitment and employment eg. internships, training, coaching, interview coaching
Adaptations to the recruitment process
• Process changes e.g. reasonable adjustments, selection and assessment changes, targeted recruitment, campaign design and language
• Job specification adaptations – specifically invite autistic candidates, a long shopping list of requirements might discourage candidates who take that literally
Line manager and co worker treatment
• Process changes (reasonable adjustments, manager support levels, induction processes – day one in the new job can really put people off if this is not handled well)
• Co workers reactions (treatment and understanding, handling of performance issues, management of career opportunities)
Feedback from autistic employees and managers
• Are they encouraged to provide feedback and is it acted on?

How to make a difference as an employer

Look at job descriptions and recruitment processes so they do not exclude autistic people
Be open about welcoming autistic people
Train your managers and recruiters
Provide a supportive and open culture and reasonable adjustments
Provide staff networks
Look at performance management criteria
Provide mental health first aid

Case study on reasonable adjustments

Under the Equality Act 2010 and the Autism Act 2009, staff with a disability are entitled to reasonable adjustments in the workplace. Kym Francis of JP Morgan outlined the difference that some of these adjustments made for her. Noise cancelling headsets help her to block out extraneous noise. She has an allocated desk in the open plan office as well as allocated parking. This means she can avoid kitchen smells, areas of congregation and chatting, air conditioning flow and being near doors. She starts work later in the day to reduce her anxiety about commuting.

There is a company culture of discussion and openness, meaning there is time and willingness to have those discussions about autism and learn from them. She has frequent meetings with her manager and a daily diary for tasks to help with managing priorities. She suffers from anxiety and would feel that it was the end of the world to miss a deadline. She is most worried about experiencing a shut down or meltdown in the office and so uses a traffic light system to notify her manager of times when she is experiencing higher levels of anxiety. This alert system is coupled with a pre agreed set of strategies to help de-escalate her anxiety to manageable levels. Over time, the level of intervention needed has reduced and she has rarely had to use her escape strategies. These simple, low cost but effective adjustments have meant that her experience of work has been highly positive and she has in fact been promoted since joining the company.

Recruitment and autism

For Nancy Doyle of Genius Within there are big differences in the profile of job seekers with neurodiversity. The ‘neurominority’ will likely be ‘specialists’ with big spikes and differences between what they do well and what they do not do so well. The neurotypical majority are ‘generalists’ and have small differences between their strengths and challenges, although they may share challenges in the same areas as neurominorities.

Recruitment of neurodiverse staff can begin with recruitment to particular job functions, or on programmes dedicated to neurodiverse people. However, this is not the place to stop. If people in these programmes and job functions are successful, then your systematic recruitment process is missing them. Organisations should work towards systematic inclusion across all job roles. Do not make assumptions about the type of role that will appeal to autistic people and make sure that your recruitment processes are accommodated to autistic people for all roles.

Advice to autistic candidates

Arrive early
Look after hygiene and grooming
Decide in advance whether to disclose your diagnosis and keep it positive
Do not make money the focus of the interview
Use humour sparingly and with extreme caution

David Aherne of Adjust Services also recommended avoiding generic or unclear questions during interviews, such as “Tell us about yourself”. For him, diversity leads to business resilience and you should remember that 15% of your workforce could be neurodivergent in some way. Understanding your workforce saves money on re-recruiting, solves skillset shortages, leads to positive employer branding and ultimately a competitive advantage. David outlined a number of stages in attracting neurodiverse employees to your organisation.

Attraction

Provide signs and signals that autistic people are welcomed and valued e.g. logos on the website
Provide a point of contact for autistic candidates
Create or highlight targeted roles e.g. internships
Engage with the neurodiverse community internally and externally
Encourage applicants to communicate about their diagnosis or requirements
Showcase autistic role models

Application and assessment

Offer visits in advance of the interview
Ensure assessors are neurodiversity aware through training
Make a quiet space available
Consider the impact of anxiety e.g. sensory overload
Test core competencies for the role only (not generic competences such as ‘communication skills’)
Provide details of the day in advance
Provide questions in advance
Allow a mentor / job coach to be present

Interview Day

Rephrase unclear questions
Avoid hypothetical questions
Avoid open ended questions
Allow time to process answers (don’t repeat the same question in a different way, that just resets the processing clock)
Print out questions on the day
Give feedback on whether the candidate has answered the question or if you are looking for more
Eye contact and body language may not confirm interest – just because someone is not looking at you, it does not mean they are not interested!

Summary of how to recruit

Recruit for the skills you need for the role
Recruitment methods should reflect the job role
Attract talent with positive neurodiverse role models
Provide signs and signals that encourage applicants to be open
Educate recruiters
Consider an internship or placement for autistic candidates
Offer job coaching before the first day, such as dedicated days applicable to their expected work, scenario planning, or social stories

Overall, autistic staff may have a spiky profile of skills and challenges. Don’t try to shave off the spikes! Aim to adapt the workplace, not the individual. You should expect that you have undiagnosed staff in your organisation already. Create a culture of psychological safety, celebrate the skills autistic people bring and normalise discussions about the challenges.

Managing you and your child’s wellbeing– being realistic and human (and not super-human!) by the British Dyslexia Association with Amanda Kirby

This week I tuned into a webinar from the British Dyslexia Association with Amanda Kirby on managing you and your child’s wellbeing. Given how I’ve been struggling with my new joint role as my son’s 1:1 learning assistant combined with remote office worker, this seemed like essential listening.

Professor Amanda Kirby describes herself as a medic, academic, entrepreneur and parent of an adult with Dyspraxia, Dyslexia, and ADHD. She is also the CEO of a fast expanding computer educational and work-based profiling company (www.doitprofiler.com)

Amanda opened with a reassuring message to all parents. “Remember what you are not is a teacher, SENCO, IT technician, clinician, speech and language therapist or occupational therapist. You are a parent, and a super one.”

For those of us bouncing between ‘school’ and ‘work’ time at home, Amanda reminded us that children don’t have hours and hours of 1:1 contact time with teachers during classes anyway. “Half an hour working with them on school work is doing well!” she told us.

Managing anxiety

Elevated anxiety levels, whether in you or your child, do not make learning any easier. We should ask ourselves what makes our child anxious in normal times and try to remove these triggers. We can create a low emotional arousal setting for them using things they like, such as favourite foods (assuming you can get hold of them), well-liked music and comfortable clothes. At least we can say goodbye to the scratchy tie and blazer combo for a while.

Amanda compared our overall stress levels to a bucket, which gets filled by drips (day-to-day irritations), dribbles (feeling unwell, sourcing food) and gushes of stress (family illness, threats to income, huge changes in routine). Normally, there is also a tap to drain stress from the bucket, but with fewer ways to let off steam or distract ourselves outside our homes, these release mechanisms have been drastically reduced. More stress in and less stress out can lead to an overflowing bucket.

Physical symptoms of this overflowing stress bucket in adults can include being in a fight or flight state all the time, sleeplessness or feeling overtired, aches and pains and many more. Excess stress has similar effects on a child. They may become more clingy, have tantrums, worry or talk all the time, go silent, relapse to bedwetting or experience tummy pains, headaches, wakefulness and panic attacks.

Amanda recommends the approach that Dr Russ Harris takes in the Happiness Trap. He uses the FACE principle.

Focus on what is in your control – manage your home and workspace, work and leisure activities, stay connected by phone and online
Acknowledge your feelings
Come back into your body (stand up, press your feet to the floor) so anxiety does not overwhelm you
Engage in what is around you (be present, look at what’s in front of you)

Create a daily structure

Structure is important in chaotic times. Plan out a timetable for each family member and put it where everyone can see it. Make sure you differentiate between the week and weekends in some way. If both partners are working from home, could you agree shifts for childcare and take turns? Starting your work earlier or later and doing blocks of a couple of hours is another option.

“Most importantly, show your children you can enjoy yourself, even in these difficult times,” said Amanda. “Plan your days and create a structure or timetable for chores, meals, fun and shared evening activities. There are other ways to learn apart from schoolwork. Weave some maths into cooking for example.”

While establishing a routine is important, do adjust it if you’re tired and step back from the timetable if you need to. Ignore the fake perfection of other people’s routines on social media!

Dealing with worries

If you are tense, your kids will mirror your emotions. Reduce arguments in front of your children and hold family meetings with older children to keep communication lines open. Try to avoid talking about corona or checking the news in front of the children. Be kind and give them some leeway, especially older children who will be really feeling the lack of friends and peers.

Younger children might like a worry box where they put their worries for you to remove overnight (don’t forget like I keep doing with the tooth fairy though!) You can build an anger volcano with Lego or papier mâché and talk about how you feel when you’re ready to erupt. Create a helping hands tree where they write the names of adults who they trust and who will help them.

Activities to try

There is an overwhelming range of ideas for activities online (some resources are listed below), but think about going back a stage and do the fun things you used to enjoy together. Many activities can be done with very little in the way of resources.

Shared games and activities e.g. Lego, jigsaw, board and card games, cooking together, reading a book
Create a project together e.g. family history, family song
Growing seeds e.g. from an apple
Teach a new skill e.g. sewing, knitting, crochet
Learn a song e.g. abba
Baking
Carpentry
Drawing
Write to a pen pal
Cardboard inventions
Tie die T shirt
Yoga class at home
Projects for teenagers e.g. video diaries, blogs, vlogs

The importance of sleep

A good bedtime routine is vital for managing stress and there is a real risk of teenagers turning daytime into night and vice versa. For younger ones, try a bath with lavender oil, read a story, use a weighted blanket or tuck in bedclothes firmly to make them feel safe. A regular bedtime for them gives you an evening too! For teens, try a warm drink, white sound to help get them to sleep, audiobooks and avoid screens at bedtime (adults also take note!)

For parents

As much as you can, focus on the here and now. Be kind to yourself, share jokes, watch comforting programmes on TV – streaming services have never had more on offer. Could you get into photography or a new craft? Listen to music you love and watch old box sets. Have one glass of wine (but no more or it will upset your sleep pattern!)

If you are really struggling to focus, then sort things! Put the Lego away, tidy cupboards, potter in the garden, clean. It brings you back to the here and now.

Teen angst

For teenagers, these are the years when they form their identity and go through puberty. Peer-to-peer interaction becomes much more important to them – and this has just been taken away. Teens are also going through changes in their brains which mean they can act without thinking, struggle to organise themselves and experience emotional dysregulation.

Respect their space and privacy as much as possible. If they have a shared bedroom, put up a sheet to create private space. Try to give more leeway than normal – remember, they are very worried about the future. Leave the door open for communication and just keep trying if it doesn’t work at first. Allow them to stay in their room, but make sure they are safe online and aren’t experiencing cyber bullying. Do eat together to coax them out of their room from time to time and prevent them living entirely off junk food. “They will probably try to take their stress out on you!” cautioned Amanda.

The website Young Minds has ideas to help, for example making a self soothe box.

And finally, don’t forget your pets! They can also get anxious when you do, so look after them and take them out for short walks with you during your daily exercise.

Top tips to remember